Saturday, August 06, 2005

The Big Blewit

Okay, I’m just going to say it. It’s all bottled up inside and you know, that’s just not good for a person to keep things all bottled up, so I’m just going to say it, mmm-kaay?

RANDY JOHNSON SUCKS. BIG TIME.

Whew, ok, much better, now I can think rationally again. Oh, I know, I know, 87 - time Cy Young winner, master of the blistering slider, I’ve heard. Because he was a National Leaguer of late, I didn’t get to see much of him pitch, but damn, what young scowling pitcher with a scorching fastball isn’t compared to the Big Unit?
“I swear, he’s like a young Randy Johnson!”
“Ohhhhh…..”
So where is that guy, hmm? I mean, they dig him out of the mothballs sometimes, every once and a while the master of the double-digit-K is on the mound.

But most of the time, it’s this guy.

Who’s this guy?

You know, the one who gives up one base hit after another, whoops! that one was a home run! Sheesh! Not very Yankeesque! The one that Joe Torre has to remove at the end of the fourth inning because he “may have tweaked his back” making a play at first (or was it because he was in the process of getting shelled?) The one who’s best tool this year seems to be that menacing stare. The one that ML batters aren’t scared of anymore.

I will give Johnson this – he’s no Kevin Brown – no whining, and he’s there with the team. He knows that he isn’t earning his money or pulling his weight and that bothers him. I applauded his statement that with Wang, Pavano, Wright, and Brown either on the DL or on their way, he and Mussina HAD to put up “W” s. Sadly that seems to have gone the way of the Sheffield/ARod “two RBI” plan. (It’s a shame. I liked both plans.)

The thing is, the Big Unit wasn’t signed for $16 million to be a Solid Citizen in the Yankee club house, he was signed to make every batter in the league consider taking a sick day to avoid having to face him. It would seem that dirty looks from the mound are not achieving the same effect.

I give Torre a lot of credit for not being a cooler tossing hot head in that dugout, because some of the things that have gone down on that mound would make a sane person want to pull out their eyes. Torre’s also gifted at managing around big egos, while not stepping all over his less demanding players – I might have lost patience by now. The Yankees organization should save wear and tear on Torre’s legs and give the man a giant hook in the dugout to manage pitching issues this year. *YOINK!* Thank you folks and good night!

If I were a reporter, and a really fast runner, I would consider walking up next to Johnson, tugging his shirt sleeve repeatedly and whining “Are we there yet? Huh? Are we there yet? Hey Randy are we there yet? Huh huh huh?” and then run like hell out of there.

Well no, probably not. But I would write a really irritable blog.